Preschool

When it came time to choose a preschool for Jack, the choice was relatively easy. Our church, which we love, is home to a very well-regarded one. The fact that we knew that we would never have to be put on a waiting list because we are church members also helped. Because we always just knew that our children would attend this preschool, I really didn't do that much research into other alternatives. I started second-guessing myself, though, when a mom who was moving to the area posted on our moms' group web site asking for input on various area preschools (including ours). She had very specific questions that I have to admit it never occurred to me to ask.

But Jack was born into this church. They've known him his entire life. I know the staff; they know our family. He was familiar with the facilities, because he was there every Sunday, which I thought would ease any anxiety he might otherwise have felt. I had popped in several times while preschool was in session, and all the students looked happy. I just felt intuitively that this was the right place for us.

We couldn't be happier with our decision. We LOVE Jack's preschool. I think we also got very lucky with the other children in his class. At first, I was a little apprehensive when I learned that Jack would be one of the oldest kids in the class. But, upon further consideration, I think that's turned out to be a blessing in disguise. One of his biggest challenges is when kids don't act in predictable ways, and that's usually the case with younger children. So the fact that he is having to deal with kids who don't completely understand that it's not ok to throw sand or invade someone's personal space is actually good for him.

Another good thing about a younger class is that they don't come into school saying a lot of objectionable things. I've heard horror stories of children coming home from preschool sassing to their parents or talking about things that the parents had heretofore tried to shield from them. That really hasn't happened to us at all. I know that older siblings are typically a source for unsavory behavior or topics, but most of the kids in Jack's class are the eldest in their families. So that's also been helpful in this regard.

The teacher tells me that, generally speaking, Jack's is a very mild-mannered class. Jack has allied himself with one boy in particular, who is the oldest in the class. The teacher tells me that this boy is very physical, so Jack typically runs himself ragged trying to keep up with him, but very kind and caring. Sounds like another boy we know. She said that this child is a good role model for Jack. One time, for example, Jack was getting upset about another child trying to play with toys that Jack was already using. The older boy told Jack, "It's ok. We're all just sharing."

We love Jack's teacher. She sends out periodic e-mails to the parents telling what the class has worked on and little anecdotes about their day. Early on in the school year, she sent an e-mail outlining her teaching philosophy. She said that her two big rules are: "Be safe. Be kind." So when they are talking about choices and how to behave, she has them ask themselves, "Is this safe? Is this kind?" She said that these are the two main things that she usually focuses on in the beginning of the year, rather than kindergarten readiness. That was just fine with me, because I'm not at all worried about academics with Jack. I feel that will come pretty easily to him; he really needs to work on his social skills.

Even so, Jack has surprised us with the things he is learning. He has a set of space pajamas. The first time he wore it, he pointed to the picture of the planet Earth and said, "This is where we live." This morning, he was saying, "'Hot' starts with 'ha-ha-ha,' and that means it starts with the letter 'H.'" I asked him what else started with H. He answered, "Harvey," which is the name of one of his trains.

Prior to starting preschool, he was just learning to write his numbers. Since preschool, he has gotten a lot more interested in his letters as well. He knows how to write his full name (with his left hand - I have a leftie!), and he can copy any word that we write for him. As he said just today, "I know how to write every letter except Q and Z. But I will learn those eventually."

He is also starting to recognize whole words. During the days leading up to his birthday, he would get so excited when the doorbell rang, because it usually meant that there was a package for him. A couple days after his birthday, the doorbell rang again and a package was waiting on the doorstep. He excitedly brought it in but then he looked at the label on it and told me, "It's for my Daddy." And sure enough, Tom's name was on the label.

Both the school's director and Jack's teacher have been extremely supportive when I mentioned our past challenges. The school district recently reevaluated him and determined that he has progressed enough that, instead of twice weekly speech and once weekly occupational therapy sessions, he should go down to speech once a month and OT on a consultative basis. While part of me is happy that he is progressing so well, there's another part of me that is suspicious that this cut in services is a budgetary decision rather than one that was made in my child's best interest. When I mentioned this, the school's director offered to attend Jack's IEP meeting with me. It was so helpful to me to have someone who has experience in these sorts of things to be there with me, to advocate for my child, and to provide a reality check that what was being offered was reasonable.

Beyond that, Jack's teacher told me herself that she would make sure that Jack didn't fall through the cracks, which had been a major concern for me. She told me that she has a background in special education and that two of her own children had IEPs. So she is specially attuned to the needs of a child who might require a little bit more assistance getting on in the world. This was also a huge relief.

It's funny how different kids can be when their parents are not around. Early on, Jack's teacher told me, "Every year, I have a little deputy dog who will enforce the rules of the class for me. This year, it's Jack." I was a little surprised at first when I heard this, but I have since heard him parrot rules that I have told him to his friends. Like: "Don't say that. Those are yucky words." Or "Don't throw sand. It can get in your mouth." It's nice to know that some of what we say is sinking in. Even if he's not always practicing what we preach, at least he is preaching what we preach.

Pick-up time is so fun. The kids all come running out and line up at the fence while the teacher unlocks the gate. They're all so little and excited to see their parents. It's reminds me of a bunch of eager puppies just squealing with joy.

One time at pick-up, though, the teacher told me that one of the other kids in the class got a little carried away and ran up to Jack and inadvertently ended up punching him in the stomach. She said that Jack was really distressed and cried. I wasn't particularly upset by the incident, because stuff happens. But I was really touched when she said, "It's so sad when that happens to the child you really want to protect."

It is such a wonderful feeling to know that, when your child is not with you, he is in an environment that you trust with people you know care so much about him. I am so glad we chose this preschool. It is a perfect fit for him and for our family.