Listening to Jack

Jack is definitely at an age where tact is at a premium, where his enthusiasm can often supersede his diplomacy. Sometimes his lack of guile is funny, sometimes it's embarrassing. But I love that you always know where you stand with him.

My birthday is coming up very soon. A couple of days ago in the car, Jack told me, "Mommy, the shirt that we got for your birthday cost $49.99 but it was on sale for 20% off!" (What he had picked out for me, much less the price, had heretofore been a secret.)

"Wow," I said, trying not to laugh. "So how much did it end up costing?"

"$29.99!" he said.

"Hmmm," I told him. "That doesn't sound like 20% off."

"Oh, it must have been 30% off," he told me. "Daddy said that was within our budget."

"Oh, good," I said, suppressing a chuckle.

A little less funny was something I heard him say earlier in the week. Our friend Jane's neighbor, Jerry, had passed away the week before. Jack had been a frequent visitor to Jerry's house, so I felt it was necessary to explain to him when I heard the news that Jerry had died. Jerry's children were in town for the funeral. While we were at Jane's house on Monday, they walked over to print out their boarding passes for their return flight home. Meanwhile, Jane's boys saw the garage door to Jerry's house open (his wife had opened it). I heard Jane's boys yell, as they had done for so many years whenever they saw Jerry's garage door open, "Jerry! Let's go see Jerry!" They knew that he had passed away, but it was habit. And then I overheard Jack say, very matter-of-factly, "He's dead!"

With Jerry's son and daughter in the next room.

I cringed.

But if there is one thing I've learned from Jack is that the capacity forgive someone you love is great. There are moments throughout our week when I find myself losing patience. Especially when I have to tell Jack repeatedly to do something like put on his shoes or to eat something before we leave the house because I do not want to hear him ask for food as soon as we get to wherever it is we are going. There are times when I find myself raising my voice or threatening to punish him if I have to repeat myself one more time. I often feel guilty that it gets to that point, and I will apologize to Jack afterward. There's always a little doubt deep down inside that makes me wonder if I am causing him irreparable emotional harm when I lose my temper.

On Tuesday, after one such moment of pique, I told Jack, "Jack, I'm sorry that I sometimes lose my temper."

And my sweet boy told me, "That's ok, Mommy. We all lose our temper every once in awhile. It's ok."

Speaking of my friend Jane, she mentioned this quote that she saw on a friend's Facebook page. I really need to remember it. Especially when my patience is wearing thin and the kids are chattering away when all I want is quiet:

"Listen earnestly to anything [your children] want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff." - Catherine Wallace