The saga of the Hello Kitty flip-flops

Violet has been very blessed to be the beneficiary of several of our friends' hand-me-down clothing.  From the moment she was born, this little girl has had more clothes than almost anyone I've ever known.  This includes everything from fancy dresses to shoes, hats, and bathing suits.  As a result, I've had to buy her very little at all her entire life.  However, I find that as she gets older, there is less variety for us to choose from among the clothes that get passed on to us.  This is understandable, for as kids get older, they grow more slowly and clothes tend to get worn longer and harder.  Most of the baby clothes that we received were in pristine condition.  The bigger clothes are less so.

Violet has long coveted a pair of flip-flops.  She sees her brother wear them, and she's been wanting a pair as well.  As it happened, this was one thing that hasn't been handed down to us in her size.  I've been waiting for the flip-flops to go on sale, because I can't really justify spending $10 on a pair of shoes that will fit her for only a few months.  Finally, there was a sale at Target, and we found this darling pair of Hello Kitty flip-flops for less than $5.

However, one frequent focal point for our power struggles involves Violet's shoes.  I don't know why it is so difficult for my kids to put on their shoes, but it never occurs to either one of them to put them on before the very last minute before we have to leave the house.  And then, it's not like it's a quick matter of just slipping them on.  It's actually a process that takes a few minutes, which are often minutes we don't have to spare as we are flying out the door.

The other thing they do is to take them off just as soon as they possibly can, even if they are going to have to put them back on a few minutes later.  And then it's lather, rinse, repeat the same frustrating operation described above.

All that is irritating enough on a normal day, but there are times when Violet just decides that she "could not" put on her shoes and she wants me to do it for her.  The likelihood this will happen is in direct proportion to the number of things I have in my hands and inverse proportion to how much time and patience I have to do it.

This summer, we've been taking weekly trips to the beach with some friends from Jack's school.  We normally really enjoy the beach, but on this particular day, the weather wasn't very cooperative.  However, we had invited a bunch of friends to join us, so it didn't seem right for us to bail.  But it was very cold.  At one point, it was even misting.  I was freezing, and Violet was just a whiny clinging mess.  Finally, we'd all had enough, and it was time to go home.  At that point, I just wanted to get the kids in the car and get the heck out of there.  I gathered up all our stuff, and I told Violet to put on her shoes.

"But I could not!" she pouted.

Of course.

"Violet," I said, through gritted teeth, "put on your shoes.  Now."

"You do it!" she yelled at me.

"One...two..." I counted and waited.  "Violet, if I get to three, I am taking those shoes away."

She finally complied.

We headed to the showers to rinse the sand off and for some inexplicable reason, she took the darn shoes off, even though they are made of plastic and completely water-proof.

"Violet!" I exploded.  "Why did you take your shoes off??  Put them back on!"

"I could not do it!"

I was ready to throttle her.

"Put them on right now!"

Somehow, some way, those wretched shoes were on her feet when she trudged to the car, but by then I was completely fed up.  I confiscated her shoes and told her that she would only get them if she obeyed me for the rest of the day.  This, as it turned out, was another thing that she "could not" do, so she didn't get them back that night.

The next day, she went to her swim class wearing an inferior pair of shoes.  She was whining that she wanted her Hello Kitty flip-flops back, but I told her she hadn't earned the right to get them back.  And then we got to her swim lesson, and there, on the feet of another little girl in her class, were the same pair of Hello Kitty flip-flops.  You should have seen the look on Violet's face as the kids walked to the side of the pool to lay their towels down.  She had such a look of malevolence and indignation, but she couldn't stop staring at this little girl's feet.

After the lesson was over, I told her, "You saw that little girl's Hello Kitty shoes, huh?"

"Why does she have my shoes, Mommy?"

"Those aren't your shoes, Violet.  She has the same pair."

"But where are my shoes?"

"You have to earn them back by obeying Mommy today."

"And then is she going to give me my shoes back?"

"Those aren't your shoes, Violet."

"I'm going to snap them away from her."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I'm going to snap them away from her. Those are my shoes."

"No, Violet, those are not your shoes.  Those are her shoes.  I have your shoes.  You will get them back tonight if you are good girl."

"Are they going to drop them off to my house?"

She finally did earn her shoes back, but she never did believe that the little girl never had them.  But it was an instructive lesson for her.  She's been much better about putting her shoes on the first time I ask ever since.