New year

When I look back on this year, I think what strikes me most is the paradox of how short and how long our lives can be.  As a parent, it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that the choices I make today may have lifelong consequences for my children.  We are taught that life is a series of learning experiences.  We can only hope that each experience provides a foundation to help us do the next right thing while also understanding that some may leave scars that we will carry with us forever.

I feel that I am now at an age where how my life is today is not far from how it will remain.  The possibilities of what I can hope to achieve constrict as the years go by, and there is both a peace and a regret as the options for my life fall away.  I mean, never say never, right?  But reality dictates that I probably won't ever become, say, a world famous ventriloquist.

However, it is my responsibility as a parent to give my children every opportunity to achieve what they want in their lives.  At this point, the main thing limiting their possibilities are the choices that I make on their behalf.  It can be very daunting, and sometimes I fear the pressure inherent in that notion can overwhelm the joy that is possible in being a parent.

So my primary resolution in 2014 is to rediscover the happiness in my life, to be the person that I am trying to help my children become: kind, hard-working, loving, grateful.

Highlights of our year:

* Going to the Philippines with the kids and having them meet my family
* Jack graduating kindergarten and starting first grade
* All the cool things Jack got to do for the first time this year: surfing, skateboarding, playing soccer and basketball
* Violet writing her name for the first time
* Seeing the sweet, friendly, sophisticated, funny, beautiful child Violet is growing to be


Things to look forward to:

* Trip to the Bay Area with the kids
* More camps and sports for Jack
* Violet starting preschool in the fall (although I'm looking forward to this with equal parts anticipation and dread)
* Violet starting dance and gymnastics

Happy New Year, everyone!