Jack's first day of preschool

Today was Jack's first official day of preschool. Ever since our walk-through last week, I've been talking about how we would be coming back. I said the same thing every time, "Mommy is going to drop you off. You're going to play with Miss Margaret for a couple of hours. And then Mommy is going to come back and get you."

I didn't want to make a big deal of the "drop you off" part, but I also didn't want to not mention the fact that I wasn't going to be there. I didn't belabor the point, but I didn't skip it altogether. I made sure he heard "drop you off," and he repeated it several times over the week. Each time I said my little spiel, he was like, "Okay."

It was all too suspiciously easy.

Today, as I was getting him in the car to actually take him to the preschool, I said my little recitation again. This time it was like a light bulb went off. All of a sudden, he said, "NO! No Mommy drop me off. I want Mommy to stay. For a couple of weeks. NO Mommy drop me off. Don't leave!"

When we finally got to the school, I had to go in and sign some paperwork. I ended up sticking around for a little bit. I was hoping to meet the other little boy who was going to be in the class with Jack, but he hadn't shown up by the time I was finishing up. Miss Margaret indicated that she wanted to get Jack engaged in an activity so that I could slip out again, and I told her this time that I wasn't comfortable doing that. I told her I wanted to say a proper goodbye to him. She quickly said that I should do whatever I felt was right and that I could even stay the entire session if I wanted to, especially since the other child wasn't there.

I was really tempted to stay the entire class, but ultimately decided it would prolong the acclimation process if I did. I told Jack I was going, and he promptly started crying and screaming, "Mommy, don't leave me! Mommy! Mommy! I want my mommy! Don't leave me!"

It was heart-wrenching. I was trying not to cry too. But I also didn't want to give in and change my mind, because I don't want him to think that tantrums and wailing are going to get him what he wants. I gave him a hug, told him I'd be back soon, and I left. As I walked out, I could still hear him screaming for me.

When I came back an hour and a half later, Jack was playing in the playground with the teacher and the other little boy. The teacher said that Jack cried for about five minutes after I left. I suspect this was an optimistic estimate, but I'm willing to believe it wasn't too much more than that. I was relieved to see that the other child is a sweet, mild-mannered boy who is only in the program to help improve his language skills. He isn't one who is likely to teach Jack any bad habits (in fact, he's more likely to learn bad habits from Jack).

As we walked to the car, I asked Jack, "Did you have fun?"

He said, "I didn't have fun when Mommy leaved."

"But what did you do after Mommy left?" I asked.

"Cried," he answered.

"What did you do after that?"

"Got happy!" he said.

I asked him if he wanted to come back in a couple of days, and he said yes.

So we'll try it again in a couple of days. Wish us luck.