"Out for awhile"

I am very lucky that I have a husband who understands how important it is for me to have some time away. Tom never makes me feel bad about spending time with friends. He uncomplainingly takes care of dinner, bath, and bed - most of which he is primarily responsible for anyway - all by himself on the evenings when I've made other plans.

When Jack was smaller, and especially when he was in the midst of the terrible twos, there were times I couldn't get away fast enough. But now that Jack is older, I'm finding it harder and harder to leave him. I try to limit my nights out to about once a week, but even that is getting tough for me.

The main reason, of course, is that Jack understands what's going on. Daddy tells him, "Mommy is going out for awhile," so now that's what Jack calls it. He tells me, "Daddy goes to work, but Mommy goes out for awhile."

Last night, I had a book club meeting. I told him, "Jack, Mommy's going out for awhile."

Jack: But no! Why are you going out for a while? Why do you want to?

Me: I have plans, baby.

Jack: No! Don't go! I know I will miss you!

I feel so guilty about leaving him sometimes, but at the same time, I know it's necessary for my sanity. And, as they say, "If Mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy."