Quite contrary

Oh, Violet. What happened to my sweet baby? There must be some feistiness embedded in her newly sprouted teeth, because my little girl has become quite a handful lately.

She is very verbal for her age, but I can tell that she is still frustrated when she can't make herself completely understood or (usually the case) when she just doesn't get her way. Sometimes I wonder if she even knows what she really wants. She is constantly asking to eat. When we ask her what she wants, she will often tell us but then say, "No!" and swipe at the very thing that she had just requested. Crackers are a major source of this particular frustration. I suspect that she wants Goldfish crackers when she asks for "crackers" and is none too pleased when presented with (slightly) healthier versions.

Another funny but totally contrary thing she does is to very brightly say, "Bye!" to me and give a little wave. But when I say, "Bye!" back to her, she scowls, shakes her head, and says, "No." This happens several times a day. I don't really know what sort of response she wants from me. Maybe she wants it to be made clear that only she can do the leaving but she must never be left.

She and Jack engage in Mommy Wars daily, where they both try to have as much physical contact with me as possible. If either of them sees the other on my lap or hugging me, they both run over, start crying, and try to pull or push the current usurper off me. If I try to hold them both, they still try to push each other off my lap. I never knew that being so popular could be some tiresome.

Normally, I do love holding both my babies. Violet is so soft and squishy; she really is a cuddly little baby. The problem is that inevitably being so close to me makes her want to nurse, and she is so aggressive about it. She is constantly trying to pull up my shirt or stick her hand down my collar. She gets downright ornery when I tell her no or pull her hand away. And when she is nursing on one side, her hands are constantly roaming to the other side, twisting and pulling. I hate that nursing a baby who really enjoys it seems to be such an all-or-nothing proposition. Whenever I read forums where mothers in similar situations are asking for an advice, they are usually told, "Time to wean!" I feel bad taking away something that gives her so much comfort and pleasure. I just wish that she would make do with less.

It's fun to see that she's understanding more and more of what we say to her and is able to make connections. Whenever she hears the names "Luke" or "Nathan," she will also say "Ian" and now "Jane." She plays a game with me where she will say "nose" and press on her own nose and then my nose. She does the same thing with "eyes" and "mouth." She is obsessed with shoes and is constantly asking to put some on, even though she doesn't seem to like to wear them for very long. She also says and signs "hat," "hot," and "cold" all day long. Usually she'll say "hat" if she sees someone wearing a hat, but I don't know why she keeps signing hot and cold all day. Tonight, she kept asking for "dobbies," which I think is an adorable way of saying "strawberries."

She recently discovered jumping in the trampoline. Now, in addition to "outside," she says, "Jump! Jump!" all day long while trying to do it.

She had her biggest public tantrum to date last week. Now that Jack is back in preschool, I am trying to find some activities I can do with just Violet. Last Monday, I took her to a music and movement class that I used to attend with Jack when he was a baby. Violet really loved it, but there is a part where the kids all get shakers to shake along to the Beatles' "Twist and Shout." After the song is over, though, the shakers are supposed to be put away. Violet did not want to give her shaker up. I probably should have found a better way to deal with it, but I ended up wresting it out of her hands. She screamed and cried as if her heart would break, and she just would not get over it. It was so unlike her.

She hates being disciplined at all. When I'm even the least bit stern with her, it's like she's shocked, offended, and hurt all at once that I would ever be anything other than sweet as pie to her. She screams in dismay and gets so upset. She's lucky that she has the cutest crying face ever, because all these tantrums would be getting older much faster than they have been otherwise. As it is, I'm hoping this phase is short.

I know this is all developmentally appropriate, but she has spoiled us for so long with her sweet disposition. I'm glad that she is showing that she is a strong girl and able to make her desires known, and she doesn't seem like she's going to be one of those submissive children who will be perpetually victimized. But whew! She certainly is giving us a run for our money these days.