Conversations with Jack

Jack likes to talk a lot about what will happen when he grows up. In his ideal world, he will still be living with me in our house, and his sister will either live with us or right next door. He says that he wants to have a lot of babies, anywhere between 5 and 25. In the meantime, he gets in modes where he agitates for another little sister.

During one of his recent whining petitions for me to have another baby, I told him, "Jack, when you grow up, you can have as many babies as you want."

"But I won't get to play with them!" he protested.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because I will be a grown-up! I want another baby RIGHT NOW while I'm still a kid."

His friends talk a lot about whom they will marry when they grow up, and Jack has asked at various times if he can marry me, Violet, or his friend Luke. I have told him that he isn't allowed to marry me or his sister, but he can marry anyone else he wants as long as they aren't related to him. While we were up in the Bay Area, we had another conversation about it.

"Mommy, who can I marry?" he asked.

"You can marry anyone you want, Jack, as long as they're not related to you. So that means you can't marry Violet. Or me."

"Well, I couldn't marry you anyway because you're already married."

"That's true."

"Can I marry Uncle Adam?"

"He's already married, too, to your Auntie Renee."

"Oh yeah. Can I marry Luke?" Pause. "Are boys allowed to marry boys?" This is actually the first time he has ever asked me this.

"In some places they are," I told him.

"Like where?"

"Like New York."

"How about Germany?"

"I don't know about Germany. Maybe."

"Well, I'll probably just marry a girl," he said.

"Oh yeah? Why?"

"Because I don't want to have to move out of my house."

It's funny how he was able to surmise that boys aren't allowed to marry boys in California and that he would rather stay in the state than marry another boy. He must really like our house. :)

He's turning into such a responsible little guy. Yesterday morning, the kids were both up and running around while I was still lazing in bed and trying to make up my mind to start the day. They were both in the bathroom when I heard Jack start scolding his sister.

"Oh Violet! Mommy is going to be so mad at you! Now I am going to have to clean this up. You shouldn't have done this. Look at all this work I have to do!"

I knew immediately that Violet had unrolled the toilet paper and that he was rolling it back up. It was so cute how distraught he was but how it never occurred to him to do anything other than fix it for her. He came into my room immediately after.

"Did Violet unroll the toilet paper?" I asked.

"Yes! And I cleaned it up," he said. "It was like 40 or 41 sheets! It was such a hassle for me."

"You're such a good big brother, Jack. Thank you for taking care of that."

"You're welcome," he said in a way that was both sulky but pleased.

He is at such a wonderful age right now. A friend of mine was commenting that he has such a distinctive personality. I love our conversations and hearing all the things he's thinking about. I'm not going to lie, there are times when his constant curiosity is a little overwhelming. He picks up on the minutiae of my conversation with other adults and always demands to know "What does that mean?" Sometimes we will have dialogues that are basically strings of "What does that mean?" if we use a word or turn of phrase that he doesn't understand. When I have the energy for it, it sometimes is a fun challenge to figure out a way to explain things in a way that makes sense to him. I am well aware that this period where he loves us SO MUCH and so eager to share and participate in our lives is not going to last. I'm trying to soak it up as long as I can.