Brotherly (and sisterly) love

I know I have gushed to an embarrassing extent about how well my children get along and how much they love each other.  Believe me, I've been knocking wood every single time I've uttered anything that sounded close to a boast about their sibling love.  But honestly, it really is the main reason I wanted to have more than one child, so I just want to glory in it when my children prove to me that we made the right decision.

I wake up almost daily to the sounds of Violet yelling, "Maa-maaa!  Maa-maaa!"  But as soon as I pick her up out of her crib, her first words are almost always, "Where's Jack-Jack?" or "Want to see Jack-Jack."

She is a shameless copycat of almost everything he does.  I've mentioned that he has taken to calling me "Ji-ji-Moomy" and he calls Violet "Ji-ji-Baby Violet."  I have no idea where this "ji-ji" business comes from, but it's definitely a term of endearment for him.  So Violet now calls me "Ji-ji-Moomy" as well.

As sweet as Violet can be, she is definitely two years old.  There was one day when her two-ness was proving too much for me to handle.  I posted this as my Facebook status: "Dear Violet: You can either thank or blame your brother for this later. It was only his impassioned protests on your behalf that stopped me from giving you away today."

That day, I told Jack, "I'm sorry, Jack, but we are going to have to give your sister away."

First he was horrified.

"NO, Mom.  That is awful.  You can't give her away," he told me.

Then he was suspicious.

"Are you kidding?  That's not very nice," he scolded me.

But then he was worried.

"Mommy, I don't like that," he said.  "You can't give her away. That would be awful."

"You're right," I told him.  "Maybe we should sell her instead.  That would be better, don't you think?"

"NO, Mom," he said.  "That would be even worse."

Two weeks later, it sure felt like he was changing his tune.  Last Thursday was the first time I really experienced the vexation my parents must have felt at my sister's and my constant bickering.  Every time I left the room, I'd hear quarreling that inevitably ended in Violet's wails.  It was almost always about something ridiculous.  Jack has taken up an irritating habit of blowing raspberries with his lips.  Violet hates it.  Every time he did it, she told him to stop, but he didn't.  He kept doing it until she screamed.  That happened far too often for my taste (meaning it happened more than once).  Another frequent source of the quarreling was that Jack would be playing with a toy and Violet would wrest it out of his hands.  He'd get mad and either yell at her or yank it back.  She'd scream.

I'm trying really hard not to blame Jack every time Violet screams, because I know it's not fair and will only encourage her to keep doing it.  I don't like to intervene when they are bickering, but once Violet starts screaming, she keeps going.  So I'm trying to work with Jack to figure out strategies to help him get along better with his sister.  Most of them have to do with, "Stop doing something if she asks you to stop" and "Walk away from her if she looks like she's going to hit you" or "Offer her another toy if she wants to play with what you have."  She is actually surprisingly reasonable, and I think he forgets that.  For example, if she is playing with something that he decides he wants, she will usually let him have it if he asks nicely.

I read a book called "Siblings Without Rivalry" when I was pregnant with Violet.  I remember really liking the advice, but at that point it was all largely hypothetical.  I just borrowed it from the library again to help refresh my memory.

In the meantime, peace has returned - for the most part - to our home.