Linus and his blanket

In the past month or so, I've noticed an interesting phenomenon when the kids and I are out and about in an unfamiliar environment.  I don't think it would come as a surprise to anyone who knows them that Jack is slower to warm to an unknown situation than Violet.  The thing I find a bit surprising is just how much Jack clings to his little sister when he is feeling shy or nervous.

I first noticed this about a month ago when we went to a concert in the park with some friends.  This was a new park and friends that we don't hang out with all that often.  I could tell Jack was feeling timid.  Also, the music was pretty loud, which tends to put him on edge.  Violet, on the other hand, just jumped right in.  She was dancing and laughing and running around with the other kids.  Jack stayed close to me and kept asking me, "Where's Violet?"

When I told him to go play with the other kids, he kept saying, "I just want to play with my sister."

He eventually did warm up, but he never fully engaged with the music and the other children the way that Violet did.

Another time we were at a playdate at our friends' house.  My friend has three kids: a boy who is Jack's age, a four-year-old girl, and another girl who is almost two.  All the kids were happily playing together until, at one point, Violet and the baby girl started rolling around together on the rug.  The baby girl's big brother went over to her to put his sister's feet over her head, which made her laugh.  Then he did the same thing to Violet, which made her laugh.  I think seeing this made Jack jealous, so he went to do the same thing to his sister.  But she didn't want Jack to do it, she just wanted the friend to do it.

Jack became very upset.

"Violet isn't doing what I want her to do!"

I told him that she isn't always going to want to play what and how he wants, that he should just find something else to do.  But he wasn't having any of it.  I could tell the real issue, of course, was that his feelings were hurt that a) she wasn't letting him do the big brother/little sister thing their friends were doing and b) she seemed to prefer his friend to him, at least in that moment.

Yesterday, we went to a free local family tennis event.  Jack has taken tennis lessons at this particular facility a couple of times.  His teacher was out there, hitting balls to the kids.  He said hello to Jack and told him to grab a racquet and join the others.  I tried to get Jack to go, but again, there weren't a lot of people that he knew there.  He was just standing by my side, refusing to move. I asked him why he wasn't going out there.

He told me, "I'm waiting for someone to ask me."

I told him that the tennis coach did ask him.

But Jack just refused to budge and kept saying that he wanted someone to ask him.  I have to admit, that even though I was kind of an introverted child, it really gets on my nerves when Jack gets in these modes.  It would be one thing if what he was saying made sense, but the tennis coach asked him.  What did he want, an engraved invitation?  I was starting to feel my temper rise, and I told him that if he was still standing beside me doing nothing in five minutes that we were going to go home.

Then Violet ran out and joined the kids, even though she was technically too young to participate.  Seeing his sister go out there, Jack ran out and joined her in line. Violet quickly abandoned it, but that was really all that Jack needed to feel comfortable about participating.  We ended up staying for 2 1/2 hours, and he had a great time.

I will be interested to see how Jack does when he starts kindergarten next week.  I'm a little worried about how he will be without Violet.  I've taken him to Legoland a couple of times, just the two of us, because "they" always say how important it is for children to have one-on-one time with their parents.  Both times we've gone, though, at around five hours into it, Jack will tell me that he wants to go home because he misses his sister.  After the first time, he said that five hours was about the longest that he felt he could be away from her.  Kindergarten lasts for 6 /12 hours.  :(