Changes

November was a month of transitions for us. Once Jack turned three, the services that he received from the Regional Center ended and we switched over to the school district. While I was grateful that he was able to qualify at all for district services, I was dismayed to find out his hours were going to be cut from seven to less than two. He only qualified for speech and occupational therapy; he did not qualify for preschool.

I know that I was ambivalent about the idea of preschool for Jack when it was first proposed, but we got lucky. He was placed with a wonderful teacher in a class where he was one of only two students. I can see the progress that he has made under her guidance, and I was so sad to have to say goodbye to her. However, while he technically was supposed to stop going after he turned three, his teacher generously said that we could continue for the rest of the month of November since she didn't have anyone replacing him until December. What a blessing that extra month has been, since it's provided us some stability as we've tried to transition to the new program. She truly has spoiled both Jack and me for all other teachers.

We've only had a few sessions with the new speech therapist and only one with the occupational therapist. I have to say that I'm very pleased with the way the speech therapist conducts her sessions. Each is done in a group setting, and they enact scenarios that require the children to talk with one another, to play interactively, and to resolve conflicts largely on their own. For example, one time they played barber, where one child was getting a haircut while another one gave it.

My major quibble with these speech therapy sessions overall is that they are entirely too short - only 40 minutes long. In addition to the fact that I think more time in this environment would benefit Jack tremendously, it would also give me a break. As it is, I really don't have time to do anything other than sit in the car and read a book while the class is going on. Not only are the classes shorter than Jack's old preschool program, but the facility itself is a lot farther from our home. I miss my naps.

Plus, I think Jack could use some more time away from me. Another change that we've been seeing this last month is an increase in his dependence on us. My friend calls it "baby juju," meaning that he knows an interloper is on her way. To mix geeky sci-fi metaphors, he's sensing a disturbance in the force and he's become a cling-on (I know it's "Klingon," Tom). I can't even leave the room to go to the bathroom without him flipping out.

He's also cooled considerably on the idea of being a big brother. Where before he talked about baby as if she were already here and part of our family, now he's been leaving her out. He says that he doesn't want to play with her or help us to take care of her. He doesn't want to teach her things, and he refuses to say hello to my belly or give it kisses anymore.

He tells us constantly, "I like you, Mommy and Daddy!"

"What about Baby?" we ask him.

"No," he says. "I only like Mommy and Daddy."

"Do you think Baby will like Mommy and Daddy?"

"No, she won't like anybody."

Today, he told us, "I don't want Baby to come to my house."

On the bright side, I do feel that things are somewhat improving for him socially. (That banging sound you hear is me KNOCKING WOOD.) He still does get anxious when if he feels that his personal space is invaded or if he thinks someone is going to take a favored toy, but he now does a better job about articulating his anxieties. And it does seem that he is able to calm himself down much more quickly than before. So there is progress, which we obviously hope continues.

For the record, to everyone who has told me that the threes are worse than the twos... I don't know about worse, but so far they aren't better. Just challenging in different ways. I have a sinking suspicion I'll be saying this until he's 25.