To Jack, on your third birthday

"How old are you, Jack?"

Dear Jack,

I can hardly believe it, but you are three years old today. When I think back to all that has happened over the last year, it hardly seems possible that it could have all fit into just 365 days. It's been one of the longest yet fastest years of my life. You as a two-year-old were everything they said you would be - and more. The twos were terrible and terrific and everything in between.

You love your mommy and daddy so much. If you could do one thing all the time, it would be to play with us. You frequently cry when Daddy has to go to work, and you are so happy when he comes home. Sometimes it can be hard for us that you seem to need us so much. Sometimes we worry that you aren't more independent. But we also realize that there will be a time in the all-too-near future when we will miss how much you like being around us, when we will miss hearing you call for us all the time.

You love all things Winnie the Pooh, although you will still watch an occasional episode of "Elmo's World." You also like Dora the Explorer and have recently, to my regret, started getting more into Thomas the Tank Engine. I love that you are still such a little, little boy in this respect. You don't like anything that is too intense or even has hints of scary or violent things. In a world where children grow up so fast, I like this aspect of your reluctance to relinquish your babyhood.

Pooh is definitely your favorite toy. He goes with us everywhere; he even came to Spain. Even when you tell me that you don't need him to come with us, I know from hard experience that it's best if I keep him in our backpack just in case. Piglet frequently accompanies Pooh. When we are at home, your favorite toys are your cash register, your kitchen, and your computer (which you call your "pinkuter"). You have about five teddy bears (plus Piglet) that you sleep with in your crib. You regularly collect things that become essential items that we need to always keep track of for an undefined period of time. These are usually knick-knacks like coins, tickets, business cards, or party favors - things that are, of course, very easy to lose. Thankfully, this collection is ever-evolving and -revolving, so you're not completely inconsolable if something is misplaced.

Purple is your favorite color, with green coming in second. Blue is the current third place holder, but that seems to fluctuate a little more frequently. I love that you are still largely unaware of gender issues. You happily play in your kitchen, unabashedly ask for a purple birthday cake, and request to wear clips in your hair without embarrassment. You are still absolutely all-boy but in a way that is so innocent and unconscious.

The last thing you will ever admit is that you're tired. Even if I see you falling asleep in the car and say, "Jack! Are you tired?" (which I only do when I want you to stay awake), you'll tell me, "I'm just closing my eyes," or "The sun is in my face," or - if you're really, really tired - "I'm just doing something." I wonder how old you will be when you realize what a precious gift sleep really is.

I think our challenges have been well-documented lately, but you also have a sweetness and humor about you that are so endearing. And you still have the best smile and the best laugh of anyone I know. You make up silly games, which you find hilarious. You are talking very well right now - above average, according to test scores - but you also like to use nonsense words when you're feeling mischievous. You're definitely very active, but not recklessly so. You want us so close to you so much that we rarely need to worry about you running off or wandering too far (KNOCK WOOD).

Your fascination with numbers is also well-known, and it continues. But you have recently shown an interest in reading and writing. You seem to prefer using your left hand to draw - mostly lines and circles, or "ones" and "zeros" as you call them - although you switch pretty readily between both. When I really pay attention, it seems to me that you have better control with your right hand, but for some reason you just like using your left better.

You are still sleeping in your crib, and potty training is on a distant horizon for us. With a new baby on the way, I'm hesitant to force too many transitions. You are a strong-willed child, and the last thing I need is a power struggle. Especially one that could be associated with the new baby. These will be milestones that I will look forward to in the upcoming year.

Another milestone I am looking forward to is your transition to big brother. There's a big part of me that is sad that we will have to share each other with another member of the family, but there's an even bigger part that is excited to meet Jack the Big Brother. I feel like it will introduce me to a whole new facet of your personality and give me a whole new way to love and be proud of you.

I remember being three years old myself, and it's both wonderful and terrifying to think that you may have vivid memories of our time together from now on. It's strange and a little sad to realize that, as wrapped up in you as we have been these last three years, you won't really remember just how much we've loved you and how tight our orbit around the world that is you has been this whole time. But even so, your first childhood memory may already have taken root inside your lovely little mind. I hope it is a happy one.

Happy birthday, my darling boy. I can't wait to see what you learn and how you grow in the upcoming year.

All my love,

Your mommy