To Tom, on your birthday

Dear Tom,

I can hardly believe it, but you are a lot older than three years old today. When I think back to all that has happened over the last year, it hardly seems possible that it could have all fit into just 365 days. It's been one of the longest yet fastest years of my life...

Ok, I'm kidding, I'm not going to write a Jack-style birthday letter to my husband. But I've been feeling a little bad for Tom the last three years. His birthday is five days after Jack's and as a result is usually an extremely low-key affair, if not an outright afterthought. But this birthday was a big one (I won't say which, but he comes by his gray hair honestly :) ), so I thought it would be a nice surprise to throw a big bash with family and long-time friends coming in from all around the country to celebrate him. I'm happy to say that both the surprise and the bash were complete successes.

Tom knew that we were going to be doing something to mark the occasion. I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to pull it all off in secret and on my own. But he just thought we were having a few friends over for drinks at our house. This was an easy way for me to justify asking him to help me clean the house and run errands in the days leading up to the party.

The festivities started off Friday night. The big party was Saturday afternoon, but many of our guests flew in Friday afternoon. It seemed a shame to waste a whole day not being able to hang out in order to keep the surprise. So we planned to meet for dinner Friday evening.

The look on Tom's face when he saw his mom, sister, brother, and college friend (all of whom live on the East Coast) sitting at the restaurant table was absolutely priceless. I thought for sure the jig was up then, because surely he didn't think all these people flew in from across the country to have a couple of beers in our backyard the next day? Well, that is apparently what he thought.

The next day - his actual birthday - I told him we were going to go meet up with his family again at their hotel before our little backyard bash started. He swallowed every line I fed him, even to the excuse I made for bypassing the hotel and pulling into the marina next door ("I don't want to pay for parking!"). The full extent of the surprise finally dawned on him when we got out of the car and he saw even more friends from both Baltimore and here in San Diego waiting for the boat I had chartered for the evening.

The evening went off beautifully. The weather was perfect, the boat was wonderful, and the food was delicious. It was such a thrill, as Tom said, to have so many friends from so many stages and aspects of his life (both before and after he met me) come together to celebrate his big day. It made the entire weekend truly, truly special for us both.

It was a lot of fun being able to pull off such a big surprise, too. Jack did pretty well helping keep it all under wraps. We had toured the boat a few weeks ago, and then I had pulled together a video slide show of photos of Tom throughout his life. A couple of times, Jack mentioned "Daddy's boat" and "Daddy's show" to Tom, but thankfully Tom didn't understand what he meant and I was able to play it off.

We capped off the wonderful weekend at Tom Ham's Lighthouse with one of the best Sunday brunch buffets we've ever had and some more quality time with family and friends. Jack was so happy, playing with his little cousin and his favorite Auntie Ellen. Even the Chargers cooperated and pulled out a win in the last minute of the game.

Over the last couple of days, I have personally received a lot of compliments and thanks for planning the weekend. These are of course very gratifying, but truthfully it is the fact that so many of our friends and family were so generous in putting forth the time and expense to be here for Tom that made the party even worth attempting in the first place. And it is a beautiful testament to the birthday boy himself that so many people were willing to do just that. So my gratitude to both Tom and our guests is mutual and heartfelt.

Happy birthday, Tom! I hope you feel as loved as you really are. Here's to many, many more.