3 3/4

Three and three-quarters. That's how old Jack and Violet are in years and months, respectively. I hate to say it, it's getting tough.

I'm not sure what's going on with Jack right now, but we are unfortunately seeing a regression in his behavior. The tantrums are back, and getting him to obey us is a constant battle. I'm looking forward to September, when he starts preschool. I'm hopeful that being around other authority figures, as well as more peers his own age, will help reinforce what we are trying to teach him at home.

I'm finding it difficult to deal with him when he misbehaves around our friends for a variety of reasons. Ideally, he should feel the natural consequences of his actions. But when he doesn't share or take turns or when he says not-nice things, the natural consequence is that eventually his friends won't want to be friends with him. And that seems like too hard a lesson to make him learn at this age - and it's hard for me, since his friends' mommies are my friends too. So I think I do tend to intervene more than I would otherwise.

Also, at playdates, he really is MY responsibility. It is MY place to be his primary disciplinarian. I don't mind when other moms step in when I can't, especially when safety is an issue, but I know that I look to other mothers to set boundaries for their children and I expect to do the same for my own.

So it will be nice when I can take him to and leave him at a place where that is not my role. Where hopefully the reactions of other children will help reinforce what I mean when I say, "People want to be friends with boys who share." Where he has to learn to take instruction from someone who isn't as emotionally invested in his every tantrum the way that his dad and I are.

And, honestly, I can use the break.

Violet is still a very lovable baby, but sleeping is starting to be an issue. I'm not sure if it's the age, a growth spurt, or that she was thrown off by our camping trip, but she is having a harder time sleeping through the night. Tom and I originally thought that our second one was going to have to get used to crying longer because we'd have the first one to deal with, but if anything, we probably go to her faster at night because we're so afraid she's going to wake Jack.

It's getting harder to put her down for naps during the day, as well. I used to be able to put her down for naps without swaddling, but not anymore. She still has the startle reflex, and she will frequently wake herself up by rubbing her eyes or giving herself scratches on her head. She likes to put her fingers in her mouth, but she hasn't seemed to figure out how to do it reliably enough to calm herself. I go back and forth whether I want her to be able to do it anyway. I like the self-soothing aspect of it, but it slightly freaks me out to see her rub her eyes with fingers that were just in her mouth. I have visions of pink eye dancing through my head. Also, I don't want to have to deal with breaking her of the habit as she gets older. At this point, we're just sort of letting her do what she wants to do while she's awake, but we still wrap her up to sleep.

She also still hates the car. She rarely cries otherwise, but she wails inconsolably in the car to the point that she's shaking when I finally get her out. I'm not really sure what to do about it. I don't want to limit how often we go out, but it definitely is a consideration when we plan our outings. Jack and Violet's little cousin had a birthday party up in Orange County the day we got back from camping. I sent the boys by themselves, because I couldn't bear to have her cry for the two-and-a-half hour car ride up and back. I really hate riding in the car too, and I was so hoping that my kids wouldn't inherit my weak stomach. Hopefully, this is just a phase she'll outgrow soon.

One really fun thing is that, as she gets older, I feel she's really growing into her looks. Obviously I'm her mother and I'm biased, but I do think she gets prettier every day. It's so fun to dress her up in all the cute little outfits we have for her.

Jack thinks she's beautiful too. Someone asked him recently who the prettiest person he knows is.

"Violet!" he said.

And last week when I told him that Violet wasn't going to be going to his cousin's birthday party with him, he said, "I want her to come, because I like her and she's so cute."

It's a good thing they both are.