Big brother Jack

Violet is five days old, and we are all adjusting to life as a family of four.

Jack came to the hospital to meet his baby sister the day after she was born. Their first meeting was pretty anti-climactic. Violet slept through it, and Jack pretty much ignored her in favor of the trains that she brought him. After about half an hour of hanging out with us in the hospital, he asked to go home.

We were all home when he woke up the next day. He seems to be making the transition pretty well. He's only really jealous when Tom picks her up. Then he asks to be picked up too. But he's fine with me holding her, which is the most important thing since I feed her.

Her eating habits seem to fascinate him. The first time she cried, we told him she was hungry. Jack was eating Cheerios at the time.

"I'll get her some Cheerios," he said. "She can have her own."

We told him, no, Baby eats Mommy's milk. As she latched out on to nurse, Jack's eyes got really big.

"Why is she eating you?" he asked.

Every time she cried that day, he offered to get her some food - "I will get her a blueberry!" "I will give her some cheese!" - and we had to explain again that she only eats Mommy's milk.

"I'm scared she's going to eat you," he said.

I assured him that she doesn't eat me, that she just sucks the milk, kind of the same way that he sucks on his sippy cup to get the juice out of it. At first he was confused, "Where is her milk?" but now, he's used to the drill. He tells me, "I want to see her sucking on you."

I asked him if he remembered ever eating Mommy's milk. "No," he said with a disgusted look on his face. Considering that he has spent more of his three and a half years of life nursing than not, it's pretty funny how horrifying he finds the idea now.

One of the cruelest jokes of giving birth is that you don't immediately lose the belly after you have the baby. I still look like I'm about six months pregnant. Jack saw my still big stomach and asked me, "Is there another baby in there?"

Even though I tell him there isn't, he doesn't seem to believe me. He keeps telling me that he wants his other baby to come. I told him, "No, you only have one baby."

"But why does Luke have two babies?" he asked.

My parents will be in town through next week, and having them here is a godsend. I'm able to nap and tend to the baby without having to worry about Jack. Tom went back to work yesterday and will take his paternity leave after my parents go back home. I think my mom especially is starting to realize that all my Jack stories aren't really fabrications or exaggerations. I don't personally think he's acting up any more than usual, but he is being his usual rambunctious, energetic, argumentative, limit-testing, three-year-old self. I'm so thankful that he has a very patient grandma.

I'm feeling much better today, and I'm hopeful that I'll be able to venture out a little more next week. We're all getting a little cabin fever, and Jack is missing his friends. And Violet wants to meet all the people who already love her.