1-2-3 Magic

Just prior to our East Coast visit, Jack was at a particularly difficult stage. He had several shoving and hitting incidents with various baby buddies in the days leading up to our trip. So our vacation was actually pretty well-timed in that regard. I started calling it our "week-long timeout" (not, of course, that I would ever equate going to Connecticut with punishment :) ). But I was at my wits' end. Timeouts, at least the way we were doing them, were not proving particularly effective. So I began reading a book called "1-2-3 Magic," which was recommended by someone in my moms' group.

The crux of this book is that you start counting 1-2-3 when your child is engaging in objectionable behavior, and if he doesn't cease and desist by the count of 3, you put him in timeout. No talking, no emotion, you just do it. In the beginning, the book recommends you do this for everything - basically, when in doubt, 1-2-3-timeout. It sounded kind of harsh to me. Up to then, I was trying to only do timeouts for really egregious behaviors (like hitting) where natural consequences weren't acceptable. But clearly that wasn't working with my Johnny Angel, so I thought I'd give this a shot.

We implemented the new discipline paradigm the day before our trip. We changed our timeout spot from a corner in the hall to our walk-in closet, since it has a door and I wouldn't need to stand right on top of Jack to make sure he stayed put. The first day, Jack was in timeout probably at least seven times. It was tough, but the new timeout spot really helped, because he couldn't interact with me, and more importantly, I got a timeout. It was so nice that I was able to walk away from him myself for a minute. (Of course, in the last couple of days, Jack has learned how to open doors. Now, we're going to have to get a tot-lock for the doorknob on our walk-in closet, so I don't need to hold the door shut to prevent him from running out. It's always something with this kid!)

So now, we're a couple of weeks into it, and I have to say that it really does seem to make a difference. When Jack does something I don't like, I just say, "1" and (usually) he'll stop and say, "No!" But he stops. He's still no saint by any means - admittedly, there are several times we have to get to 2 and even 3, and he had three timeouts today - but at least I feel that I've got some sort of handle on the worst of his naughtiness.

The book itself is divided into two sections: the first one is about stopping undesirable behaviors and the second is about starting desirable ones. I feel the second half of the book isn't that relevant to Jack at this point, because he's too young. But I'll definitely be revisiting it again if I find in a couple of years that I'm not able to get him to do his homework or clean his room.